It is unfortunate, that many of Muslim men don’t give women’s rights. What I men are misunderstanding or intermingling the rights of human being and what is called happiness. Destroying the happiness of your sweet heart while your justification is I am fulfilling what creator said. Marriage is a common institution for whole the world, but it might have different traditions in different countries.
Islam is a compassionate, mercy and peace full religion that cares for young and old. It gives the rights of everything living in this world. It provides equality at every angle of their life. It is the religion which tells us even if a goat kills another goat, on the Day of Judgment, God will give an account of everything and give the rights of victim.
I have been searching for a while to know what the rules are and principles of marriage according to Islamic perspective. Islam provided the women with full rights and care well as the man so let me remind you some ‘Qur’an’ verses.
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal with justly with the orphans girls then marry (other) women of your choice , two, three or four ; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slave) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice (surah, An-Nissa page#117, v: 3).
But we are witnessing at every corner of Muslim countries that the marriage of second, three and four wives are common and easy as you can’t imagine. At the same time percentage of divorce ultimately is getting high. We know that our religion is mentioned that man can have four wives but how? It might be confusing to you, that I am Muslim and talking as a man against marrying two or four wives. Personally I am not that one who is against but many of us didn’t comprehend the full essence of our Qur’an and the meaning of real marriage. Marriage is not a game of years, months or days, but it is the legitimate thing that comprises the value and the dignity of every nation.
Marriage is the institution, which creates the consistency and the strength of every society. What many Muslim people do, they first marry by demanding that they are wishing to establish a home based on happiness and carriage of two sides that will be strength and bring good environment between them (man and women). After years of having kids and spending a good time, a man proposes to implement a verse of Qur’an that I had mentioned above.
What I am arguing is, marrying another wife is not a matter of bringing conflict. Does a man be able to fulfill or can handle all the basic necessities of demand for all of his family members? No doubt that man has rights of having other wife. He should convince with his first by fulfilling her full accurate petition and should not cause heart break while he is stepping up to build the heart of other one.
Let me report some stories, from different countries, quoted from my friends. At lunch time Ahmad and I were sitting at cafeteria, he was so sad and every one was able to read his face; that he was having a problem. After moment of taking lunch I asked him hey! Man what happened today? You look so gloomy.
After, few moments, he said my dear! You are right, I am sad because of some problems. I am unable to cope. Mom and dad were living together with really very cheerful and peaceful life. A couple of months ago my father married another woman. Perhaps you have an idea that in our country if a father marry other wife they always focus on the new one. It is unfortunate to say that my father and mother were fighting from that day, though my father didn’t inform my mother that he is even going to marry.
I asked dear brother why you didn’t talk to your mother if father is offering her rights. He has right to marry other wife. He said dear Bashir you know my father is a principal of high school and he earns every month almost USD 400. The salary is not even enough to sustain our own family. We are three kids and every one of us is studying, the only fund we have, is the salary of my father, so tell me how he can provide my mother’s rights, he is already not providing us our school fees what other rights are you expecting from him.
Does your father come the home and sleep? Bashir this is what had created the fighting between my parents. Before we were together and father was with us. After his new marriage he started to come home ones a month, when my mother ask this, he replied it is not your right to ask me; I am responsible of both families, so you should be under your limitation.
In my high school there was my friend in Somalia, Said. He was my close friend and we were going to the market, as we were keeping our way, suddenly he change our way to other direction. I asked him why we are swerved that way instead of the right street. He replied I will let you know my friend. I was really shocked because of his immediate decision after yards he said Bashir you know that boy wearing the red shirt and black trousers. I answered no, I don’t, who is he?
He is my brother from other mom. There is skirmish between the families that is why I don’t want to have any conversation sorry! And that is why I suddenly changed my way.
These stories not exist only in Pakistan and Somalia rather they are very common everywhere. After we have seen a plenty of stories happening in Muslim countries. Did we ask our self, is this religion said or is this right implementation or we are obeying our selfishness?
Being optimistic, we are not implementing the right things of our Holy book (QU’RAN) but we are misunderstanding and getting misleads the entire society. Yes Islam is permitted to marry with satisfaction of your wife and rewarding the privileges of both families and fair. If you can’t, be with your first wife. I believe if you are respectable man you can find everything you need from her and believe she is more than enough. A family living a very good environment and cheerfulness is much better than 2, 3 or 4 families living with conflictions. Happy family is that one which produces delightful kids who have ability and talent to initiate thing perfect than those kids from an unhappy family.
So, what sort of marriage is that? what advantage we gained from?, this is just creating enmity in between family members? Wife is not a slave or a domestic animal that you can do everything. It is the heart and soul for the whole of your family.
I am not advocating or against the double or triple marriages, but overlooking and ignoring the rights of your wife or any other human being will bring a consequence which will adversely destroy the chain relationship and the honor between the couples.